ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
