he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
