This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
