So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize