Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
