totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
