what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize