yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
