How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
