Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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