So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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