You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
