OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This toilet bowl is my home.
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