i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
