Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
