i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
