Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
