Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
