so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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