I'm lost and stupid without you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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