she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
