That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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