im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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