This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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