So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
as a side note pls kill me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
