haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We had to coat check the pizza.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
