No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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