You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
