I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize