you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize