3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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