when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
