i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
