I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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