just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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