My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
