is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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