why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
