Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
