I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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