No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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