I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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