i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize