Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
tell me about the eggs
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
