dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize