He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
