Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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