Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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