I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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