You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
