i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
