Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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