He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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