how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
