Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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