We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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