It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
