please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
