Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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