whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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