Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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