he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
