i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
