she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
