just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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