Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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