Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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