...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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