You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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